I walked in to the hotel with my friend and and took a look around as we approached the check-in line. To my right, a normal hotel counter, with crisply dressed, young and vibrant hotel employees welcoming us in. To my left, I saw dozens of people young and older (not old, just older than some) milling about. I had made myself commit to being comfortable and secure - even IF I was out of my element. The mental commitment didn’t stick as we checked in. I had informed my friend of this before our arrival - even confiding in her that walking into the local high school with my kids still made me feel anxious. I have a theory that my high school student anxiety must be a combination of my lack of popularity as a teen myself and my personal insecurities of not graduating high school (hey, I got my GED, so that STILL doesn’t make me a red-neck!). It really pisses me off that as a grown adult I can’t walk into a high school and just feel confident. They are teen-agers for crying out loud! So, as I walked into the hotel lobby, that feeling of “not good enough” creeped up, irreverently ignoring my mental commitment to be confident in this new crowd of strangers.
(click here for part 1) (click here for part 3)